Do your spending habits align with what’s important to you?

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Over the past few years, the Secondhand Therapy community has explored the idea of managing our energy as a precious resource. Ideally, the way we spend our energy aligns with our personal values. Since last summer, I’ve been focused on managing another precious resource (MONEY!) and how it relates to my values.   Learning about […]

It’s okay to stop trying to fix your life…

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Have you ever noticed how quickly life seems to go downhill when you’ve lost your mental buffer? Maybe it’s a physical pain (backache, headache, etc.) or exhaustion or emotional circumstances. You are just trying to get through the day, but things keep piling up. You find yourself snapping at your spouse or kids. You have […]

Why I no longer feel guilty about doing less.

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“You cannot get your middle-aged childhood back.” – Anne Lamott Last week, Anne Lamott spoke at Emerging Women Live 2016 about the importance of rest. She reminded us that we need to practice “the divine sacrament of the plop” – of stopping to do nothing on a regular basis. That’s a big stretch for most […]

Whose opinion matters?

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No matter what your background, we all have that same memory from our childhood. That time where we were proud of something…until someone made fun of us. When I was in grade 6, I remember saving my money up so I could buy a pair of pink high-top Converse sneakers. I loved those shoes. But […]

Who deserves the best version of you?

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A few years ago, my husband told me, “Not everyone deserves 100% Jill.” I was surprised by his statement. What he was trying to point out to me gently, is that by insisting on giving everyone 100% of my attention and energy, it was taking away from my ability to be the wife I wanted […]

How well do you handle uncomfortable emotions?

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Uncomfortable emotions are not fun. Over the years, I’ve ranged from stuffing my feelings down, to lashing out at inappropriate times, to being unable to express what is bothering me…and now I continue to re-assess if my uncomfortable emotions are in line with my values. I’ve shared this Rumi quote before, but I want to […]

What to do When Life Throws You a Frightening Curveball

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“Grace can take you places hustling can’t.”   -Unknown “I don’t get it,” I told my husband on a cold February evening, “What am I missing?” I had just emerged from my most successful quarter ever for my business, and all of a sudden things had ground to a halt. As in, no income that month. Perhaps […]

How to deflate your frustration in less than a minute…

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When’s the last time that you felt frustrated? Yesterday? This morning? Chances are, it isn’t hard to recall a recent irritating moment. Most of the time, those moments involve other people: our children, our co-workers, our spouses. Don’t you wish that you had a cattle prodder magic switch that would change their behavior? Of course […]

Will You Get a Passing Grade for Self-Care?

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Here’s the pattern I have begun to notice about type A personalities and overachievers: We take pride in a lot of our accomplishments, but rarely on how well we take care of ourselves. What if there were gold stars given out for how much sleep you got? What if your corporate bonus was partially dependent […]