Whose opinion matters?

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No matter what your background, we all have that same memory from our childhood. That time where we were proud of something…until someone made fun of us. When I was in grade 6, I remember saving my money up so I could buy a pair of pink high-top Converse sneakers. I loved those shoes. But […]

Who deserves the best version of you?

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A few years ago, my husband told me, “Not everyone deserves 100% Jill.” I was surprised by his statement. What he was trying to point out to me gently, is that by insisting on giving everyone 100% of my attention and energy, it was taking away from my ability to be the wife I wanted […]

You Are Not Responsible for Other People’s Emotions

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As published in Tiny Buddha, August 11th, 2016   “Rather than being your thoughts and emotions, be the awareness behind them.” ~Eckhart Tolle “I don’t believe you,” I jutted out my chin like a petulant toddler. Collapsing back into the tufted leather loveseat, I conceded, “I want to believe you, but I can’t.” My therapist […]

How well do you handle uncomfortable emotions?

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Uncomfortable emotions are not fun. Over the years, I’ve ranged from stuffing my feelings down, to lashing out at inappropriate times, to being unable to express what is bothering me…and now I continue to re-assess if my uncomfortable emotions are in line with my values. I’ve shared this Rumi quote before, but I want to […]

Lost in Translation: Are You Wasting Effort in Your Relationships?

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Think of the last time you had a great time with a friend. What was it that was so great? You got to spend time with them doing something that you loved? They make you feel special because of what they said? You had a special little gift that you couldn’t wait to give them…something […]

The Health Risks of Being a People Pleaser

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As published in The Huffington Post on January 22nd, 2016. Dr. Neha Sangwan, author of Talk Rx, understands the pressures of trying to please everybody. Graduating with a degree in Mechanical and Biomedical Engineering, and later attended medical school to become an Internal Medicine Physician, was the result of Dr. Neha following a career path […]

Why We Choose to Be Erotic at Work and Not at Home

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As published in The Huffington Post on December 17th, 2015. Last October, I heard Esther Perel tell a conference room full of women that, “We are willing to be erotic at work and then numb at home.” Some of the audience sat stunned, some winced, and some nodded in agreement. It was a hard hitting truth — […]

10 Mind-Blowing Lessons from Badass Women You Can’t Afford to Ignore.

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Have you ever listened to someone speak, and the truth in their message shook you to your core? It’s a rare moment, but you can probably recall someone you watched live, listened to on the radio or on a podcast, or saw on television that challenged your way of thinking. That moment when you paused, reassessed, and decided […]

Better Relationship Communication Part 3 (video)

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Sometimes we need to talk less.  I love that Esther Perel’s wisdom from Mating in Captivity  flies in the face of conventional relationship wisdom.  In the last video of my relationship communication series, we talk about Esther Perel’s concept of bi-lingual intimacy.  I also reveal a few simple suggestions for quick relationship wins! If you need some […]

Better Relationship Communication Part 2 (video)

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Wow!  It sounds like several of you are trying to avoid assuming intention when talking with your significant other, as a result of Part 1 of this video series. In this video, I talk about my husband’s magic question that he uses to check in with me no matter how busy life gets.  I also […]